I want a sister and brother

Am one of those people who are largely unaffected by the band wagon of quick succession of siring children. Actually it doesn’t touch my heart. The more I get asked about it the harder my heart gets. I listen with one ear closed on all the theories people have on children and am tickled. Sometimes immensely. 

“Children should be brought up together with their siblings…”

“If you only get one child they will be spoilt or lonely……………..”

“How would you feel if you didn’t have siblings………………..”

“You will not have impetus to work hard with only one child……………..”

Yawn, yawn. They go on and on. Completely ignorant of the fact that I am not affected by their theories. That bug hasn’t bit me. And to me it is okay after all I am the one will bring forth the child. So sometimes I pretend I didn’t hear the comment, sometimes I answer positively or even negatively. Other times I switch topic so professionally that the person minding my business has no choice but to start minding their own.

I guess such is life. When you are single everyone tells you to get married. When you are married everyone tells you to get a child. When you get a girl everyone tells you to get a boy. When you get a boy everyone tells you to get another one as the tie-breaker. When the tie-breaker comes you need…………… You get my drift. 

Then the unexpected happened. My daughter jumped into the bandwagon of wanting a sibling. And wanting them now. I guess it comes with the territory- it seems like everyone else has a sibling- Never mind all her first cousins don’t have any. And sometimes I ask her how many brothers(In reference to her cousins she loves to the moon and back) do you have?

“Three. She goes ahead to name them”

“Aren’t those enough?”

“No, because they don’t live with us!”

How do you explain to her that she needs to hold on for some more time before she gets a sibling?

”Mummy, when are we going to Nakumatt to take our baby sister and brother?” I keep quiet.

”Mummy, please take me to Nakumatt on Sunday. I want a brother and sister.” I mumble in a low voice something incomprehensible.

“Mummy, I can’t hear what you are saying”. At this time her voice is 10 decibels higher than usual.

“Angel, I will take you on Sunday.”(I put a mark in my mind to ensure we don’t go near any Nakumatt on Sunday.)

A few years ago four 4 years old’s visited our home. My daughter showed them a picture of me when expectant. They were all awed they hadn’t seen such a big weird stomach. The most curious of the group asked:-

“Why is your mummy’s stomach so big?”(His eyes were almost popping!-I think the picture exaggerated my size)

“God put me in my mummy’s stomach”

“How did you come out?” Another asked.

At this point I crossed my fingers and prayed that whoever would answer the question would have an age appropriate answer for the four year old’s(Never mind they were all four year olds). They all kept quiet and looked at each other. I sighed with relief none of them knew. And then my daughter calls out

“Mummy how did I get out of your stomach?” Silence.

“Mummy how did I get out of your stomach?” 

All eyes are on me now. The kids didn’t notice I had been spying on them. The question at hand was too mind boggling for them and they needed an answer. There was pin drop silence. I calmed my nerves.

“God removed you when I was asleep.”

They all breathed out. I think they were expecting a more practical (read exciting) answer than that one. I suspect they wanted to ask questions to really understand. I took a 2 year old stance and opted not to get involved in their first biology lesson in my house. As sure as the attention span of a four year old is, they moved on to other things.

A year later my daughter starts the onslaught of her need of a sibling. I tell her we will buy one soonest. I didn’t think she was listening. Where from? Nakumatt. Of course I don’t keep tabs so we are in Galleria once and she remembers and asks.

“Mummy which side do they keep children?”

“Which children?” Am totally oblivious of the lie dished out months earlier.

“We were to buy a baby sister and brother!” I almost pass out. Damn. She remembered. 

“They are stocked in the other bigger Nakumatt not this one”.

She looks at be bewildered. Galleria’s Nakumatt is not a small one so why wouldn’t they stock babies?

“Okay, Please remember next time we go shopping in Nakumatt TRM”.

On Sunday as we leave Kasarani to see baby J she reminds me. 

“Mummy please remember to stop at the big Nakumatt so we can buy a baby sister and brother.”

Before I can say anything she adds ( I suspect so as to preempt anything I might say that might break her dreams).

“And if you don’t have enough money for two it is okay, just buy a brother.”

As we cross town she falls asleep. The playing she had endured for the last two days had her in a black-out five minutes after we left the home of the most generous person I know on planet earth. Madame Wamae God eternally bless you. I was humming as I went up Langata road. When I got home and lifted Angel to carry her to the house she asks,

“Tumefika Nakumatt?”

“What?”

“Tumefika Nakumatt (grogilly)”

“No, we are at home.”

“Mummy (20 Decibles high) we were to buy a baby today! How can you forget?”

“Angel, you were asleep when we passed the big Nakumatt.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I promise next time I shall wake you up.”

I felt sorry more for myself, the corner is becoming smaller and smaller. The issue is, am still not moved but the game has changed. My daughter is the one asking and it matters. She is also growing. My Nakumatt story has a very short life span. Actually, am suspecting in not more than three months I have to say nothing but the truth and the whole truth. It’s either that or I suffocate in that corner or someone tells her the truth. I cannot allow that.

Gearing for that lesson where children are not bought in Nakumatt.

Sojourner.

Send me pointers.