The lies men tell us

Men. My opposite gender. Do they lie? Of course they do just like women do only that their lies hurt more.  Maybe because when they lie it is so unrealistic and unbelievableit is a wonder you believed it in the first place. Yaani, they have sketchless lies!

That he will kiss and not tell. Let me make it very clear, men gossip and not just kawaida gossiping, they gossip a lot infact in my opinion much more than women. So if he tells you he will kiss and not tell, shock on you. He will tell all and sundry. Most of the times he will paint a picture of himself as a great conqueror and you of a damsel who needed direction. Exaggeration will be the theme of the story.

That he prefers been chased by a woman. Ha ha ha ha ha. If you are chasing a man, you have been punked. A man is born a hunter when he becomes the hunted, one person is cheating the other one and it is not the man being cheated. If you have the feeling you are putting too much effort to get a man’s attention- you are and your story together will end up very disastrously.

That a man can love you more for siring him a child(ren). Men do not sire children nor are they primary care givers hence have no close attachment to kids. God made it so .Hence even after all the advancements in Science we still don’t have birth control made for males. And sadly so, a man can calmly walk away from his children forever. The logical thinking of a man can allow him to love a woman but not her children, or love her children and not her or feel totally nothing about all of them.  Never under any cost should anyone use children as bargaining chips- you will only be subjecting your children to suffering. A man chooses whether to be involved in bringing up children or not.

The boys are going somewhere. If you are dating a man who has not introduced you to his boys (whether they approve of you or not), run very fast and especially so if you have been seeing him over a good period of time. When a guy is getting serious with you he will introduce you to his friends, to show you off and to seek their approval. If you are in a situation whereby you haven’t met the boys or you only meet them in the dead of the night when all of you are as high as kites-you are wasting your time. You are in a temporary relationship. The boys are going nowhere!

You can collect a debt from a person you have an intimate relationship with. How is that even possible? Like you will carry the bed you sleep on or decide to never talk to them ever again? Hence, if you give that special someone money, be ready to lose it no matter how elaborate their payment plan is. 

That they can’t remember important dates e.g. birthdays, anniversaries, valentine’s day e.t.c. I mean you are born one day in 365 days how can one forget that day, every year? At least write it down somewhere or save it on your phone. It is nonsensical for someone to ask for your age every year. If I was 26 last year, I can only be 27 this year. No magic there. I mean, a man can remember in chronological order what Pep Guardiola has done in his career or the history of Arsenal since 1886 complete with when they have won at Old Trafford or Emirates but forget one day in the year. I repeat, if he wants to remember he will remember regardless of the mode he uses to do so.

That an able man can be taken care of by a women. The kind of care that involves a woman becoming the head of the family and main decision maker. That is a  21^st Century fallacy.  A man has been created in such a way to crave for dominance and an ego that allows for such. If you find as such you wear the man’s boots, be sure of something- he is likely to be in his element elsewhere where his impact as the head of a unit will be felt. So desist from becoming a grown man’s mother or husband. It is bitter, but a man can only take care of a woman and never vice-versa.

If you are requested for whatever reason that your relationship remains a secret. That is absolutely laughable. I know several women who have done ruracio, weddings,showers e.t.c and never invited any of their close friends. In their opinion they did not want to inconvenience their friends to attend their big day. Some notions just spell out doom and this is one of them. Why can’t the people close to you celebrate with you on your big day? If your better half did not point out that it is in your best interest to invite your friends then you are both in trouble. Serious relationships are never a secret- this thing where people hide when they meet others is just crazy. Why would you want to hide from others unless you have something to hide?

Finally, when he says you are just friends it is not a lie, you are just friends. Don’t push it even one inch from there unless you are looking for just a friend!

Simple, huh? Handy especially in this weather. Be warned.

Sojourner.