Of njaanuary and house helps.

Njaanuary is one of those months that has been very unforgiving to me especially so in the last five years. Not necessary due to financial strain (though it makes it worse) but because most of my house helps often decide to start the year in a new household or even became owners of households somewhere else sometimes without a good bye. As many of you reading this today will confess, December is that month you pay your house help a bonus, do her a nice shopping and generally spoil her-after all tis’ the season. Albeit sometimes I think, it’s a bribe of sorts. Nonetheless, these girls expecting that generosity welcome it with open arms, and still leave you.

After the holiday spoils, they often get confused somewhere and January becomes a total crisis for most mothers and especially those with younger children who need to be under the constant care of an adult. So January starts, all you do is call, then more calls, and more calls again. The calls start on 26^th December, her phone is off. You try two days later, it is still off. You send a text message, it is delivered at mid night-it is too late to call, and even if you do you might wake your child up. It took 3 hours to put them to sleep-waking them is not an option. You call in the morning; the mobile subscriber is back to Mteja status. On the 2^nd of January, you finally go through. She explains her phone had a problem and she wants to come to Nairobi only one thing stops her -bus fare. What? You paid her double her salary last month! But to maintain peace, you keep quiet and send the money, you reason: better the devil you know.

On 4^th of January, one day before you go to work, she hasn’t arrived. Never mind the M-pesa was delivered. Her phone is off again. This time you send a threatening message. It is time to throw all caution to the wind. She texts back the bus got late or is waiting for the last passenger. And if she is coming from Western Kenyan, the bus had a tyre burst at Nakuru…. It then takes 12 hours from Nakuru to Nairobi. She then confirms she is in the city. You breathe out, call your boss inform them that you will be late to report to work your house help is running late. Four hours later despite residing in South B and confirming there is no traffic on @Ma3 route she hasn’t arrived nor is she picking your calls. You call, the girl is Mteja again! She still hasn’t arrived by evening and her phone is still off. You start cooking, call you boss and ask for an extension of what is fast becoming your leave. Calls start to all your girlfriends, it is official you need a new house help ASAP.

The mad dash begins. Everywhere. A couple of January years ago I would go to bureaus and interview scores of girls (By the way in all honesty it is you they interview and not the other way round). Kwako kuna maji ama tunachota na mtungi? Unaishi floor gani? Mtoto wako hutumia diaper ama nappy? Uko na bwana? Damn, I dreaded those questions.  I remember once interviewing a lady at a bureau at Adams arcarde. When I got to the bureau, I saw this big bodied lady (Her weight is anything between 80-100 kgs) approached her, greeted her and asked her how business was doing in njaanuary. We chit chatted for about ten minutes. Then a lady walks in and confirms whether am she who she was waiting for.The answer is yes. She then tells me the lady she got for me is the one I was chit chatting. I almost fainted. The lady asks me, Uko na gari ngapi? Nyumba yako ni ya bedroom ngapi? Uko na maua kwako? I was very quiet I kept shifting my eyes looking at her stomach and her feet. She reminded me of the stories I read when I was in junior primary school. Of people who carried others on one hand. She told me her starting salary was 10,000/= (This was in 2011) . Her first born was in four 3, she needed a serious household (sikama yangu ya bedroom mbili na kagari kamoja kadogo), I stood up, thanked the ladies for their time promising to call later. I never looked back nor talked to either.

To imagine that I had been referred to a bureau in Limuru? She brought me a house help who only spoke the Kikuyu language. My daughter understood nothing she said. She had to go. Another from a bureau somewhere in the thick of Thika. During my sister’s wedding she requested as to vacate the bedroom where the bride was changing her clothes, she needed to change! She left after 2 days when we discovered the bureau owner had lied about her age. Another came and exactly one day after I paid her salary, her brother passed on. She went for the funereal to date four years later I have never seen her! Another came when I was one week away from delivery and requested that she have three off days in a week. She leaves on Friday and comes back on Sunday. She left before the cock crowed in the morning. She threw my key through the door- I have never seen her! Another told me “Jishughulishe na vile utachukua mtoto shule, mimi nimeenda zangu.”

Hence there has been Beatrice, Alice, Shiku, Jane, Everlyn, Makena, Vio, Mary, Loice, Rose and Anne (Who later invited me to be her face book friend-imagine that) .And others whose names I can’t remember or cannot match their faces to their names and vice versa. They came, they stayed and they left. Thank God my daughter and I are still alive and have survived these changes as gracefully as possible (One cooked chapatis using self raising floor- she never noticed how fat they became when she placed them on the pan). Some I have had to fire for grave mistakes. Others have left on their own accord to pursue other interests. Others just disappeared. Others disappointed us despite being good helps. Some we miss inspite of their short comings. After all they are human beings so some are good and others are bad and anything in between.

I called home the second time as I was taking longer than usual in the office preparing for an early meeting. After I talked to my daughter, I heard the Help saying she wanted to talk to me so she is given the phone. “Hallo, nataka kukuambia baba yangu amekufa.” I am wiser of how such messages are delivered and which direction you are headed with that house help..

Thank God njaanuary doesn’t last forever. I need a house help. If you hear of one, please let me know.

May your house help last through the year and maybe even some more next year.

Sojourner.