Continuing into my 30's

A few days ago I got deeper into my 30’s. One of those birthdays that have no party, no cake, no company, no surprises, no alcohol just you and the couch and as expected,I dozed and boom its midnight the following morning is here. I had heard , read and imagined about turning 30. It is talked about as if there is a physical demarcation when you get there. Like you will knock a door and then enter into the third decade. Ha ha ha ha, that is false information, time just passes on and sooner than you know you are 30 years old. And no, you are not a CEO of one of the Forbes top 100 companies or anything near it. You are just you.

I had written another story about my 30’s to actually tell of  things that I have learnt along the way. The serious stuff. The stories with a moral ending but just before I posted it, I changed my mind (common with me since I turned 30) and decided to write about some of my experiences in the 30 something years I have been on earth (they are in no particular order).

1)    I climbed Mt Kenya with rubber shoes. This is the silliest sickest thing I have ever done. I truly did not engage my mind when preparing to go up that magnificent mountain. I reached the peak with my feet completely frozen. My conclusion on this one has been a complete explanation of the young and the reckless.

2)    A male friend of mine (I am coming for you once again) once convinced me to go on a blind date with his friend. We were good friends and have always been so for loyalty sake I agreed and went. Let’s just say that was one of the most disastrous dates I have ever been on. We went to a club on Kimathi Street called Taco’s. I almost jumped through the balcony. The exaggeration of the person was so huge it’s like expecting to meet Denzel Washington  then getting Njuguna of the real househelps of Kawangware. They are both great actors but am sure you get my drift. Never mind my male friend been there. My experiment with blind dates ended there and then.

3)    Kabete was a place I lived for four years. It was punishingly cold. The weather in June/July was such that you would cut it with a butcher’s knife. I fell ill one Friday evening and I was totally immobilized and couldn’t leave my bed. That whole weekend I lay in bed sick due to the cold. The strangest thing is that for those three days only one lady opened my door and asked whether I was joining them to watch “Sex and the city” when I took too long to answer she left thinking I was asleep. Thank God I was alive on Monday and am writing about it now.

4)    I visited a male friend once who requested that I cook lunch to see what my culinary skills were like. I whipped one hell of a stew and pasta that he was so impressed and swept me of my feet and off to Morocco… Stop dreaming. I tried to recall the last time I had cooked and what I ought to have done to make a palatable meal. That ugali and sukumawiki tasted like garbage paper bags.  The food like really burnt. He escorted me shortly to the stage sighting something, I can’t remember the emergency. I learnt to cook a mean stew after that incidence. The kind that impresses presidents.

5)    I have fallen in and out of love. Both instances are normally accompanied with a thud.  There exists a very thin line between love and hate. You can topple over on either side at any one point in time. And once you cross it, only God at his own will can solve the quagmire. The good thing about heartache is that eventually it heals. Time heals everything.  As our pastor put it on Sunday “Do you ever look back on your ex’s and think, what was I thinking?” That is how far I had lowered my standards.

6)    The meanest man I have ever known (this is a firsthand story) where I know both parties. The male acquaintance went on a date with my  girlfriend. The guy declined ordering food as he said he had eaten a little earlier. The girl asked for hers but couldn’t finish her food-it’s awkward to be eating alone on a date. She said she was full. Get this, the educated well to do man, pulled the plate and started eating the remainder of the food. He then asked the girl for them to go dutch when the bill was brought. I never get over this, how now? Of all the gory stories I have heard of mean men, this one still takes the crown. He is a kikuyu I must add.

7)    While still getting used to the corporate world we went for drinks at the KBC canteen . Borzoi vodka then was 30 shillings. I don’t know how many doubles I took. I was having visions by the time I left Harry Thuku road. By the time we got to Seasons on Kimathi street (we walked), I had four pairs of hands and two heads. My stomach couldn’t hold any longer- I threw up until my intestines were on the floor. My relationship with vodka of that kind ended on that day. Never, ever ,ever again.

8)    I have won dentures now for 12 years.  Earlier on, when my grandmother was alive, I didn’t remove them at night. While trying to convince her to get some for herself for she liked to eat meat at advanced age would retort niigomage na magego megilathi “How do I sleep when my teeth are in a glass?” I didn’t want her to make fun of me so I wore them through the night. This Christmas they vanished and I just can’t find them. Do you think I swallowed them at night? 

9)    I owned brown savco jeans. I wore it to church and even took a picture in it. I usually coupled it with white sneakers. How’s that for fashion?

Life is crazy. These are some of the ridiculous things I thought about on that day and many more. I am glad to be alive, well and blessed. The 30’s are actually cool you only need to get into them when carrying bottles of sunscreen, water, exercise and good attitude.

Sojourner.

I had a happy birthday. Thanks.