A real woman is one:-

He who finds a wife finds a good thing. Think about this line in the Bible for a moment. Why didn’t the bible say he who finds a husband finds a good thing? Well, my simple explanation would be that the folly of a man can be covered by a woman to the extent that no one would ever discover the inadequacy of that man (Behind every successful man is a woman). But the folly of a woman can never be covered by a man no matter how brilliant he is. In other words a real woman is a good thing whether she eventually becomes a wife or not.

A woman needs to be of good character. Period. And good character is a sphere of things. We must carry ourselves well all the time. Real women must abandon abusive talk and endless gossip. One must dress well to befit their body types. Forget what Lady Gaga and Rihanna wear on their video’s that is showbiz. They are paid to do so. The brewing of alcohol is not about to come to an end. It has been going on since the wedding at Canaan. Drink in moderation, nothing is worse than a staggering female who doesn’t have a clue where they are. Smoking is an absolute no-no for women-look up the damages it causes in our bodies. Dirty dancing and bend over have a shelf life for everyone- when it “arrives” for you please let it rest.  And the lies, those tiny little lies(especially to gain sympathy), tie them in wet wipes and throw them down the latrine. Walk the upright way and believe in a higher being whomever you deem him to be.

A real woman must know how to cook. It doesn’t matter whether you are the Prime minister of Germany, President of Liberia or the Vice chancellor of KU we must know how to cook. And please don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that we need to cook every meal in the evening, I mean you need to know how to when duties call for it. One needs to know how to cook at least one meal to impress and another fast meal in case one came with hunger that could result to death. Forget what the media says, it’s not cool that a woman can’t cook. Doesn’t this augur well with why mothers are primary care givers to children?

A real woman needs to be clean personally and generally. Where one lives needs to be habitable. It is shocking when you visit a lady’s abode and find clothes strewn over, undies socked for two weeks, toothbrush inside a washing basin and so on and so forth. This is even worse when the lady has children! For several years I was considered a clean freak, but I don’t mean it to that extent. Simple things, shower twice a day, brush daily, let the house and children be clean. The house needs to be organized as well- it makes no sense to look for shoes for half an hour in the morning due to disorganization.

A real woman knows that laying on her back to get up the corporate or social ladder is abhorrence. Posting nude photos on the internet does not make one popular or likeable. How do you imagine that it pays to give out for a price, what you were given for free? The minute you start sleeping around for a promotion, pay rise, money, jewellary name it, is the minute you start falling in an endless pit. Girls, Boys talk and they talk a whole lot. They kiss and tell. The minute you sleep with your boss he tells someone else who you will need to sleep with for a future favor, the cycle starts and never ends. Don't be cheated, this is not the easy way out; it is the cheap way out and eventually makes you an even cheaper commodity. God gave you a back to support you when walking not when sleeping. Go and work.

A real woman knows that a man can never be her gateway to money or opportunities. Men are not human banks. Work must be done to acquire the fine things in life. Women who lie around waiting for men to provide them with jobs, money and other opportunities must have gotten the wrong memo. The price you pay eventually for those things are worth nothing more than the fake hair on your head. Gold digging is not a career and sweetheart everyone grows old if you think that beauty is currency to purchase goodies on earth, think again. Eventually all these things fade. Another girl with your glow, younger and stronger will have entered the market. And men lie, they know when you are gold digging them. He knows he is good to you only when he has money in his pocket. And more times than not he will treat you according to that thought.

A real woman is not a damsel in distress. A damsel was cool when we watched Barbie, Cinderella or Rapunzel. Those were cartoon characters we should let them remain there. A real woman knows she is alive due to the abundance of God’s grace. A woman needs to know the basic DIY. How to change a bulb, change a tyre, give first aid, wash clothes, dust. In other words a real woman will not spend all her time asking for help. Sometimes you need to do those simple chores yourself just in case no one is around to help. It makes no sense to call your boy friend abroad that the bulb has gone off. That’s plain dumb. Learn those things even if you don’t do them all the time. It’s called an emergency. Women are not the weaker sex, they are the fairer one.

A real woman is brilliant. She tries to understand things and how they work. If you are educated or schooled even better. But bottom line is one must be in the know. A college student asked me after the Westgate siege what KDF stood for. She had never in her 24 years on earth heard of the acronym. But she knew who Nicki Minaj was. I leave to your imagination what else the girl knew. Google is your best friend. Find out all there is to know. If you go for an interview be ahead of the rest, if you are going for a date and don’t know what people do find out, if you are going to a high end eatery and need to use the cutlery right find out. This is the information age. 

A real woman knows that cheating and stringing men along is a sin. It’s uncool and renders your credibility useless. Tell a guy you are not interested. Stop using him in the pretext that you are platonic friends. If a relationship is a secret between you, your man and best friend that relationship only exists in Utopia. Don’t keep a guy as backup in case the other one walks out. That’s just inhuman. Be in the relationship that you want,but only in that one and embrace it with all your might and when it’s time to move, move on: when it’s time to fight, fight; and when it’s time to cry, cry (then laugh with the girls over ice-cream).

Finally, a real woman must have the spirit of discernment. We must know when to love, when to speak, when to keep quiet, when to leave a fight and when to forgive. We must learn that the world is not about being the only person in it but to be among the stars. We must know that we don’t get pregnant from eating salad or drinking untreated water. That AIDS is real and has no cure. That it is wise to cut our cloth according to our size .That work is not a punishment and life is a beautiful journey worth attempting.

A quick rejoinder (After the finally). If you are a mother by choice or chance: take the role very seriously. It might be perhaps the most important thing that God put you on earth to do. Every child deserves a present mother. After all, we are God’s representatives on earth.

Sojourner.

P.S am a female writer so there is reference of myself in first person and third person.

Now the comparison of a real man and a real woman begins. Feel free to”free your imaginations”. Bring it on.