The end of difficult times

The school term that has just ended happens to be the toughest that I have ever experienced. On the onset, I thought it would be the shortest until the impasse between the teachers unions and the government in the month of September. And one full month was added to the school calendar so that all children could catch up. I felt like kicking all the parties- Oh if wishes were horses……

My daughter’s nanny travelled upcountry during the August holidays to bury a sick uncle-that was the last I heard from her. The time I tried calling her on the day she was to come back, someone else picked the call and advised me she had gone out and left her phone in the house. If you have been in the business of employing helps some of this answers you get automatically tell you that someone has taken a leave of absence and would not be coming back.

September started when I was looking for a house help. I was referred to one who was underage- No is the only answer I could give. I got another who was supposed to be in Mumias but in the evening I get call from her “sister” (One was as light as day and the other as dark as night. They had zero resemblance. Sister introducing other did not know when the other was born. In my opinion she was also meeting her sister for the first time) to go interview her. I met a young lady with no ID apparently she hadn’t had time to acquire one. She wore orange tights, had three sets of earrings, a nose ring and ring on her finger. Her story had too many gaps –I said no. I got an old help I had hired earlier to come back and on the last minute she tells me she will think about it-am still waiting for an answer. As this went on something crossed my mind- what if, what if I decided not to hire one for just one term?

Let me say this, domestic chores are very monotonous, repetitive and tiring. They are like manual labour. By the time it was week two since my daughter opened school I thought I was going to go mad. I had to drop and pick her from school. Prepare her 10.00 and 4.00 O’clock snacks. Prepare supper- which had to be a balanced diet. My daughter also has a habit of forgetting how to self feed when am in the vicinity so I have to feed her during breakfast and supper. Polish shoes, wash dishes, wash clothes, iron clothes and a million gazillion other chores that come up in a home. I forgot to mention when I dropped her at school I also went to work the whole day.

Our house helps without a doubt do a good amount of work in the house. That I agree and never take for granted, what I don’t think they get is that you also do work when you go to the office. When I got home every day the cycle of duties started again. It was so overwhelming. On week three I threw in the towel and got a hold of my old cleaning lady. She was going to be coming in once a week to assist with the clothes and general cleaning of the house.

Cooking meals was the toughest call for me. I needed to have meals ready by latest 7.15 p.m. if earlier the better. I am one of those people who rarely cooked maybe when I/my daughter wanted  a special meal or I was hosting visitors. Sometimes I would stay for 4 months without cooking. Then this happened. Of course my kitchen speed was lousy and we ate late meals in the beginning and I realized that I had to change or my daughter would have a very rough term. So I learned to prepare multiple meals in a record 45 minutes with a clean-up of the kitchen. I even ventured into cooking chapati’s after many many many years.  The kitchen made my nails suffer and I relearned how to use kitchen gloves.

Many times in the morning I realized there was no brawn for my daughter's sandwich or fruits to be eaten. Sometimes I found there was no washing detergent or onions. Or when I finished blending the fruits I discovered I had left the beetroots out. I resulted to writing every single thing I wanted to do down:-

Ø  Buy bananas.

Ø  Grate carrots.

Ø  Check whether you have shut the fridge door(sometimes I forgot)

Ø  Remember to mix yogurt with the natural yogurt.

Ø  Put laces on Angel’s rubber shoes.

Ø  Pay for milk.

Ø  Wash handkerchief e.t.c

The person who was happiest of these happenings was my daughter. Though sometimes she could see I was fatigued she enjoyed the company that we kept each other. She would help with wiping the table, putting her clothes in the washing basket, dressing herself among other chores. She never even once complained about doing these things. Once in a while she would ask when are we getting another Auntie?

It was a tiring three months but I bonded with my daughter. I got to  know her favorite meals- I once cooked cabbage and she told me she doesn’t like it like that- I had to try it in like three different variations for me to know which was her best. I also let her do some of the things that would ordinarily be done for her e.g. tiding her books and toys. We grew together and she would give me stories first hand of her classmates hence I know them by name. I know even the rascals (Read boys whose names have been mentioned more than twice). And even as they started rehearsals for her pre-unit graduation she made me learn the songs and poems they were going to present. Yes, I became a full time mother and career woman.

And it has ended well thank God. I had to sacrifice a big chunk of my social life. Who am I kidding, I sacrificed it all. But I loved the challenge. Sometimes we underestimate the strength God has put in our hearts and minds and what we can fulfill with them. If I did it and did not go berserk anyone else too can do it. And I don’t mean not just having to do without a house help. Anything, anything you put your mind on you can do it.

For now am remembering with pride the poem my daughter’s class recited and which she had been teaching me.

Mother,

Oh, you my mother

Black woman,       

Strong , black woman.

Woman of the ocean, rivers and forests

You carried me in your womb for nine months with love

(I forget this part-we stopped rehearsing!)

I love you*3, Thank you very much.

Sojourner

Today I wanted to eat toasted bread (mostly I use a pan to toast bread- I find faster and sweeter) I could not find the toaster. I looked everywhere even under my bed. I could not recall when was the last time I saw it! Where could it have gone to?

P.S I am looking for a house help.